You can`t make your heart feel somethin it won`t.



Those of you who have Cried. Those of you who have laid at night wondering where your father is. Where he could be, Where he would be. Crying Because He isn’t there Hating him because you love him and miss him and he’s Screwing with your Emotions. Coming home From the letters you saved that he wrote, Explaining how he will come home and do better. Become a True Father, A True Man. But Once He comes home. He’s out Again. Tug and pull on a child’s heart is not a game. Getting hurt And Crying. This Situation your promises end up all the same. Sometimes i hate the fact that i look like you. Because i see you when i look into my reflection. And it’s only a reminder of what i lost. What i had, And maybe will never have again. I never in a million years thought that ME….ME!  would lose something so dear to me. When i look at our portraits i see an empty space of where a father is Normally Placed. I Never Want to mark you out of my like dear father. I never Am. You are. Your taking yourself out of my life. Everyday i fear because i don’t know where you are and it hurts me so much that i can’t be near you. You come and make me happy, making me feel like your going to make up from all the years that i was hurt waiting for you to come home. But you just run back to what had taken you from me in the first place. It Honestly makes me feel like you never wanted maybe not meant to be the father i wanted you to be to me. I hope you love the life that your living without me. I Love you Forever.

Honestly i despise being in this predicament, I like love this guy so much, (ADM) <— that’s all your getting. but he loves someone else….. i guess. Everyday i try an tell myself “IT’S O.K”  it really pisses me off because i was always there for him. He doesn’t even know it, he never had taken the time to listen. When he did listen i was too happy to even dare utter anything negative towards his ear. i as freakin happy man. he was my everything. i would have did alot of things for him. I had only one problem and that was like nagging him to be mines and my his. i think if i hadn’t of don’t that we’d probably be the best couple EVAH right now.  bleh. but yeah……… it’s hard to say “IT’S O.K” when you love someone with all your  heart but he acts like he doesn’t give a shit.